Friday, April 15, 2005


Swing time

Don't ask. 9.00 on the dot I rang those bastards and they hadn't opened the bloody phone line. By the time I redialled it was too pissing late. Half and hour later all I had to show for it was a warm ear and a sore finger.

Is there anyone outside of The Sun's offices who gives a flier about Colleen? For those not in the know, Colleen is Wayne Rooney's girlfriend and seems to be one of those travellers that the Tories seem so concerned about (well, she's taken up residence on the front page of The Sun for the last two weeks). She has absolutely nothing interesting about her whatsoever and yet they cannot stop talking about her. At least Victoria Beckham was, at one point, a bonafide pop-star (as opposed to the bonafide nut-job she seems to be today), as far as I can tell Colleen alternates her time between shopping and occasionally going on holiday. That said, I'm talking about her now... damnit!

Question Time last night. Here's a question: What the hell was Ruth Kelly speaking out of? The sound seemed to emanate from her nose, but the words were pure anus.

Descriptions from Extreme music 'Chemical Beats' CD (XCD045):
Track 10: Reaktive
Description: Solid Slam-Bam, Slices Nicely

Can I just recommend to all and sundry that they can do an awful lot worse than to sign up to the Channel 4 news Snowmail service. Once a day, between 5.00pm and 7.00pm, you receive a brief summary of the days events from the man himself. He writes very personal little sentences about each item in a style very different to that of any other news service. Almost comment pieces in themselves, you can see in them the very model of professional journalism. He's still no Trevor McDonald though. But who is?

Reasons to hate Mel Smith:
To round off this mini-series of venomous diatribe against a man who, in all honesty, has never done me any harm, I could talk about his odious smugness. His two decades of sub-standard television. His obvious gluttony. I could do all this but why go to all the effort of typing hundreds of words about the man when God clearly hated him more than even I could. Evidence? Click on the link.
The following link contains graphic images that may offend!

I'm sorry you had to see that.

I'll leave you with a quote that Paul McCartney gave me when I bumped into him just outside his home in Rye, Kent.

"Fuck off before I have you arrested!"


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