Wednesday, May 04, 2005


How do?

Hello there.

It's been five years since Ken Livingstone was made Mayor of London. Doesn't time fly when you're at a deadlock over the future of the London Underground and whether or not public-private partnership or the bond scheme like the one in New York is the best way to proceed. or something. I like Ken; he says silly things and spends inordinate amounts of time on the inconsequential but the Evening Standard hates him and that makes him alright in my book. Not that you care, you've just come here for more of this bollocks:

Punchlines to jokes that you'll never hear again!
"So I told him, 'If you want to park that in there, you'll have to wash it first!'"

Goodballoon's slang.
Hanging basket = Upside down
Devil's eye-bath = Videos
Wax-on = Have sex
Wax-off = Have sex with oneself
Woofer = Woman
Sub-woofer = Girl
Sixer = Knife
Threer = Fork
Twoer = Spoon
Cock = Prime Minister
Balls = Cabinet

Two-face at Moving the Goalposts met Tony Blair today. He shook his hand. He clapped when he spoke. I'm surprised he didn't give him a little kiss. Fair play; it's not often you get to meet one of your heroes, but now he's got to put up with being savaged by yours truly and laughed at by my audience. So that's three of us laughing then.

I think I was interviewed by this guy:,,30000-13341942,00.html
I didn't get the job either.

Ways I know I'm getting old.
I fart more than I smile. Sometimes I fart just because I've smiled.

With less than 24 hours until the polling booths open, we can start to get a shape of what the results will be like come Friday May 6th. Looking at the ICM and YouGov polls we see Labour's national support holding strong at around 39% with the Tories slipping to 33% and the Lib Dems polling at a very respectable 23%. Both of these polls allow for a +/- of around 3%. Here at Goodballoon research we can, for the first time, give you the clearest, most definitive guide to how the World will look come Friday morning:

Seeing dandruff.

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