Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Dudley Moore

Stoicism: Such an over-rated virtue. London is currently full of so many people with a stiff-upper-lip. Marvellous I suppose, but one wonders where they were when that blonde, hollow-arsed, breeding mare Diana shunted herself into a brick wall in Paris. Mind you, if I was stuck on a boat with Dodi Fayed I'd probably do the same. Actually, I was on a boat with Dodi once, but he was four and I was entertaining his cock of a father on Dirk Bogarde's boat trying to score some skag for Irene Handel. Didn't get any; the fat fuck tried to sell me his neice's arse instead. Anyway, people are being very brave and saying the terrorists won't change their lives, but I'm incredibly scared and here are just some of the ways my life has been altered:

So as you can see, all-in-all, the bombings on London have left me with a real can-do attitude and a real sense of optimism. Well done chaps. Onwards and upwards.

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