Monday, September 26, 2005

 

Shhh...

It's a funny thing when you can't trust people to keep a secret. I once trusted Peter Ustinov with my private thoughts on Archbishop Runcie and he let everyone know that I thought he was devious little nancy with appalling taste in knit-wear and fallen arches. Not so shocking now, but in 1986 this was enough for me to lose my CBE. Anyway, be careful what you tell people because they may pass it on. Here's a few things I heard at a party recently:

- Murdoch: "The problem is the tans can't even be bothered to help themselves. Let them drown, I say."

- Blair: "I quite agree Rupert; the BBC blamed it on the authorities. Quite, quite hateful"

- Moss: "Can any of you lot get me some crack?"

- Goodballoon: "I'm sorry Stirling, but you've had enough."

- Moss: "I'll suck your balls!"

- Murdoch, Blair, Goodballoon et al: "I've got some!"

This is soon to form the basis of my new sitcom 'Goodballoon's Yard an ting'.



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