Saturday, August 19, 2006


You're through to the next round...

In the Autumn of 2003 I was employed by the CBC television company in Canada to be a judge on their new series 'Dance me off, baby!' It was a dance talent contest and I was to be one of the judges. The first audition was in Montreal and I was part of the star-studded panel along David Watson and Olivia Gibbs. Yes, Olivia Gibbs!

I was employed by the channel as a bit of a 'Mister Nasty' character, a role which I believe I filled remarkably well. However the channel felt that i had overstepped the mark somewhat and never broadcast the programme becasue of it. Here are my top five insults for you to be the judge of:

1) (To a seventeen year-old who'd just done a spot of ballet) "If you were gay, I wouldn't f**k you!"

2) (To a fourteen year-old tapper) "No thanks, we've got enough tw*ts!"

3) (To a jiving couple) "If that dance was an animal, I'd rape it."

4) (Fourteen year-old disco-dancer) "Bring your mother in so she can be ashamed of you."

5) (Twenty-four year old Salsa dancer) "C**t!"

Reasonable enough, no?

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