Tuesday, January 09, 2007


Good advice

Hello Betsey?

How are you? Good New Year and that? I should surely hope so. I began 2007 as I had finished 2006 (obviously) by having my heart restarted by a deeply troubled homosexual called Martin who has spent his life purposefully avoiding the perfectly natural male genitalia to mouth collision his body craves. Shame. Anyway, it was a blast and much of the pain has subsided so I'll just continue like it didn't happen.

I haven't got much else to tell... the health service in this country remains an absolute joy. I'm not being sarcastic, I love it. Who wouldn't? Disease, degradation, dysentry; it's all so Crimean. Martin aside, Florence Nightingale was most definitely missing, although Dr Hamilton was a marvellous Scotch woman (she may have been a male but I couldn't see beyond the end of my hallucinatory jam-gun. I assume it was a hallucination; I haven't been to an NHS hospital for a while and I don't know if they give you jam-guns as standard). I'd really just like to give my thanks to everyone for making my eyebrow lift as exciting as could be.

I'll come up with something a little more au current anon,


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