Thursday, January 18, 2007
Handy
Toby Young vomited out 1,500 words for The Guardian on Tuesday about Victoria and David Beckham's move to Los Angeles. Amongst his various pieces of advice for the couple was this golden nugget:
"Never read the trade press in public
It's a well-known piece of Los Angeles lore that you can always spot the out-of-towners because they're the ones reading Variety and the Hollywood Reporter in public. Out-of-towners are under the impression that the trades carry all sorts of interesting information about showbusiness - stock quotes, reviews, box-office figures, etc - and that reading them in public will make them look like keen-eyed industry veterans.
The only reason people actually employed in the entertainment business read the trades is to find out how much their competitors are being paid. That's why people read them in private - because discovering this information is nearly always accompanied by a string of expletives."
In what way is that sackful of shite going to help anyone? Clearly it will have zero effect on Mr and Mrs Beckham as they go about their lives earning ludicrous amounts of money by playing football and shopping, the likelihood of my moving to LA and attempting to become a bigshot is getting slimmer by the minute as I drink and shit my way to mid-life mediocrity, and I should imagine that The Guardian only loses readers by putting the pug-nosed, shiny-pated, fat-cheeked, no-mark, heavily-hyphonated face of Toby "shitting" Young on it's byline.
I could be wrong though.
"Never read the trade press in public
It's a well-known piece of Los Angeles lore that you can always spot the out-of-towners because they're the ones reading Variety and the Hollywood Reporter in public. Out-of-towners are under the impression that the trades carry all sorts of interesting information about showbusiness - stock quotes, reviews, box-office figures, etc - and that reading them in public will make them look like keen-eyed industry veterans.
The only reason people actually employed in the entertainment business read the trades is to find out how much their competitors are being paid. That's why people read them in private - because discovering this information is nearly always accompanied by a string of expletives."
In what way is that sackful of shite going to help anyone? Clearly it will have zero effect on Mr and Mrs Beckham as they go about their lives earning ludicrous amounts of money by playing football and shopping, the likelihood of my moving to LA and attempting to become a bigshot is getting slimmer by the minute as I drink and shit my way to mid-life mediocrity, and I should imagine that The Guardian only loses readers by putting the pug-nosed, shiny-pated, fat-cheeked, no-mark, heavily-hyphonated face of Toby "shitting" Young on it's byline.
I could be wrong though.
