Friday, April 27, 2007


Chapter two of our exciting adventure

"Goodballoon! You're back!"
"Captain Goodballoon, if you don't mind." I said as I stepped from the gangplank of the HMS Krakatoa. The land felt strange beneath my feet; foreign and sordid. One of these was literally true, the other: figurative and sexy. She looked like she had when I had left eighteen months ago, although I hadn't remembered her being quite so pregnant.
"How was the war, my darling?" she breathed. "The papers are calling you a hero."
"The papers are only partially right, Helen. Sure, I'm a hero, but there are so many others too."
"None like you, Jasper."
"No, you're correct." She had been the light and love of my life. She had swept me off of my feet (figurative) back in 1937 in Paris when I was a slip of a lad. I was bright-eyed and naive, she was the charitable young woman that had relieved me of the dead weight of my virginity. It was like an albatross around my thighs and she cut the ropes and tugged it off. I loved everything about her: the gleam in her blue eyes, the bounce of her blonde hair, the way she smiled as I gave her the money for the services she performed.
"Jasper, it is so nice to see you. You have been gone so long." She smiled sweetly but meekly. Something was up.
"What is it, my dear?" I muttered.
"Don't mutter." she said.
"Sorry. It's something nasty I picked up in Singapore." It wasn't the only nasty thing I picked up in Singapore. My open sores would testify to that.
"I have something I need to tell you, Jasper. Now promise you won't be mad."
"I promise my dear." I spoke in earnest, unaware that those self-same open sores would help me on my way to insanity within six months.
"Jasper, I... we are having a baby." She blushed feintly as she said this. I was in shock. I had been away for a year and a half. I was not expecting this.
"Oh darling..." I was dizzy with a miz of happiness, error and antibiotics. "Oh darling, it will be the biggest baby in the World!"
"Yes! Yes!" she was giddy like a schoolgirl. Being thirteen she was giddy and a schoolgirl.
"Hold me, your majesty." I whispered as I squeezed her right royal frame.

Next week: It came after dark!

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